"I cry silently and hope that one day I will be able to let all of this go"

I take yet another step into the battlefield, knowing that today is a day I will loose. But it doesn’t matter, because tomorrow is a new day and I will get up, fight again and win. One day at a time.

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You are born to be real, not perfect

Photo: Nina Isabell Abrahamsen

I am packing for Italy and that small lump in my stomach wont go away. When I open the drawer to take out my bathing suits and bikinis that dark voice in the back of my head says I shouldn’t wear stuff like that. I am too big, my breasts are too shaggy, my legs have too much cellulite, my belly isn’t flat. I should just stay home. When I try on my dresses from last year and feel them tighten, the lump grows bigger. I try to push the thoughts away, not create room for them, try to remind myself that I am not here to be perfect. I am here to be real, kind and loving. But today it doesn’t help.

He is lying on the sofa next to me and I so desperately want to tell him how I feel. How the dark thoughts completely take over and how I just want to stay home. Not travel with his perfect and slim family members, afraid they will judge me. Afraid he will judge me, even though I know he never in a million years would. But I continue packing in silence. Because deep inside I know this isn’t me. I am stronger than this, I WANT to be stronger than this, and I don’t want to give that dark place any room for speaking. But it hurts. It really hurts.

I go into the bathroom, cry silently and hope that one day I will be able to let all of this go. Because I am enough, I am beautiful and I am strong. Strong enough to one day embrace all that I am and not having to feel like this anymore.

Lots of love from Henriette Sophia

Computer switched out with sun and fresh air

Last Friday we ended the week with a team day at Vaxholmen out in the archipelago. The boat took about an hour and when we arrived we just walked around, enjoying the beautiful place. With its small streets, local shops and cozy houses it is a very idyllic place. Only thing missing was the sun, but lucky for us it came out after lunch. Just in time for coffee and cake buffet (yes, you read it right: CAKE BUFFET PEOPLE)!

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That boat ride home in the sun was the best thing in a long time. Reminded me of our summer place in Norway and just being on the water makes me so damn happy. Aaaaah, why can’t it just be summer all year long?

A very good day in good company. Was a nice change from sitting inside at the office all day.

Lots of love from Henriette Sophia

Purple love

When in Oslo I took a deep-dive into my mamas closet. It´s a little like going on a treasure hunt every time, because my mama got so much nice stuff. Among others, this amazing purple sweater. The color and the details made my fall completely in love.

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Love colouring up my everyday life, especially when the weather is more than depressing. And no, I don’t walk around in those heals all day, just liked it to the outfit ;)

Lots of love from Henriette Sophia



Her Majesty The Queen´s Birthday Party

Ok, just gotta say it feels pretty damn cool being invited to the British Ambassador's Residence in Oslo to celebrate her Majesty The Queen´s birthday. A very different kinda workplace I am at now, that´s for sure. Been kind of nervous and pretty excited at the same time, since my colleagues in Stockholm wouldn’t be there, just me. However, I got to bring my little sis as my + 1, which was nice.

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I dressed up in my pink suit (lets say I most definitely was easy to spot among all the hundreds of guests, seeing as the main colours were blue, black and grey), and managed to stay semi-dry throughout the storm that hit. Jesus how it rained.

Upon arrival we greeted the ambassador, we mingled, we drank wine and just had a good time. A little weird feeling being there, among politicians, media, business people and state representatives. Little me with my business card, trying to avoid the topic Brexit! But it was lovely and hope I get to go again sometime.

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Afterwards we embraced the storm, getting soaked! But when we got to my sisters place suddenly stopped and the sun came out! So we ended the day outside, grilling burgers. My burger actually looked freaky alike a normal burger, but they had been so kind to buy something vegan for me!

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Lots of love from Henriette Sophia

Powered by plants

Had a little momentary freak out yesterday. Been cooped up inside for what feels like weeks due to being sick, then work and then the bad weather. I was grumpy and felt honestly very low, but then my mom suggested a walk to her favorite place, Verksted Jord, where she bought me a cup of coffee. And oh my how the walk, the fresh air, the coffee and being surrounded by all those plants did me good. The sun even shined for a few minutes. Must be the best lunch break I have had in a long time. Like my mom said; Little that cant be fixed with the power of the plants.

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And on my way back to my computer and work we stopped and filled up with greens. Loving the green life at my moms!

Lots of love from Henriette Sophia

Sthlm - Oslo

Yesterday I packed my overwhelmingly big suitcase and headed to Arlanda Airport. Like always I arrived a little to early (happens every damn time), but didn’t mind that much though, because for some reason I like airports. The sound of my suitcase being rolled by my side, the smell of my standard coffee and the sound of my boarding pass being beeped at the gate. All comforting reminders that I am either almost home or soon to be somewhere new and exciting.

Standard airport coffee at Arlanda

Standard airport coffee at Arlanda

This time the exciting place I was headed was home to Oslo. I am attending an event at the British Embassy tomorrow and doing some working, before spending the weekend with friends and family. Love that I can combine work with visits back to good old home.

Been working a few hours from home today, in addition to dropping of some stuff for the event tomorrow, before hanging out with my dearest mom. Living at her place like always, being spoiled with delicious (vegan) food, hugs and kisses. Nothing to complain about here, except the crazy weather. A storm is apparently coming tomorrow, and not the best timing since the event at the Embassy is a garden party…. Lets cross our fingers.

My mom made these delicious vegan rolls for us, filled with mango, chilli, avocado etc!

My mom made these delicious vegan rolls for us, filled with mango, chilli, avocado etc!

Pretending it is summer while hanging out at our favorite bakery

Pretending it is summer while hanging out at our favorite bakery

Gotta get to bed now so I am ready for tomorrow, going to be a long day!

Lots of love from Henriette Sophia